When did you start? I have not shared with anyone the exact date that I started this journey. To the public I guess the start date is the day I published the first blog. The start date is not important. I don’t plan to do some big count down and pounce on someone on day 366. If someone comes into my life I don’t want to feel like they are counting down to something. If someone is in my life I want to know that they are around for the right reasons. Eventually true intentions will shine through. I am wondering if it would be better not to date.
Why a year? A year is a good and reasonable amount of time. A year will give room for lots of change in my life. I have never gone a whole year without having sex. I am trying to decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it does not matter. I am fully committed now. It will end up being longer than a year. Just because the year is up that does not mean I will jump someone. If and when I have sex again it will be with someone that means something to me. It will be with someone that I want to be a part of my life for a very long time. I have spent enough time chasing a feeling. It is time for something else.
Does “self-love” count as sex? Not in my book. Self-love does not involve any kind of outside influences.
What do you tell men when you go on dates? I haven’t been on any dates yet. I am not in the mood to date just yet. I recently ended a relationship and right now is a time of self-reflection. I will keep you guys posted on what happens if or when I start dating again.
Do you wait until sex comes up and then discuss your decision? Or do you lead with it to let them know what you are all about? Hello, my name is Jona and I am celibate is not how you start a conversation. If I meet someone I will let him know about my journey. I will let him know that my celibacy is about me. In a perfect world I will meet a guy who is also celibate and we will live happily ever after. SIKE! I am not crazy enough to expect someone to join me in this journey. Any man that is going to be around will have to be around for the right reasons. His intentions will be clear or he will walk away once he knows that the cookies are on LOCK. I am emotionally prepared for all situations that I may face.
What would be your advice to someone that wishes to do what you are doing? Think long and hard about if you really want to make this kind of commitment. Be ready to explain your decision to anyone that might asks. Look at where you are at in your life. Make sure your doing it for the right reasons. It took me several months before I was certain that I wanted to do this. Right now it is very easy. I am not dating. I am not looking to date. No one else is being affected by my decision. If I were in a relationship I think it would be much harder. I won’t be putting myself in sexual situations. I think it would be difficult to be celibate after a bottle of wine while getting a naked massage.
When is it a good time to tell someone that sex is not an option? I am curious to know how someone will react. I have small moments where I miss being close to someone. It is only natural to crave intimacy. When I think about what I miss the most from my past relationships its clear that I miss the intimacy more than I miss the sex.
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