Well I am several months into my new life of celibacy. Originally I started with the idea of writing a blog every week but that seemed a bit much. Now I am going to blog every few weeks or when I have something to share. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. It is a day to love and be with the people that you love. In the past I would feel totally depressed about not spending the day with someone. But this year it is just another day. Scratch that- Valentine’s Day is also my momma’s birthday. I get to spend the day loving my momma from 500 miles away. I get to focus my love on someone that is the backbone of my life.
I have been doing a lot of reading about celibacy. In blog one I stated that I was not doing this for religious reasons. Silly of me to think that at some point the path of celibacy and religion would not meet up. I don’t make New Year resolutions’ but I made one for this year. I promised myself that I would give God more time. I spend more time reading the word and seeking a greater understanding. I write more and spend a few minutes a day in a state of devotion. It is becoming like second nature to spend a few moments with my God. I am still not a fan of churches but I do believe in giving God his time. I recently came across an article on the Christianity Today website. The article was all about the history of sex in the covenant of marriage.
“At the same time, I know of no greater failure among Christians than in presenting a persuasive approach to sexuality. Outside the church, people think of God as the great spoilsport of human sexuality, not its inventor. The pope utters pronouncements, denominations issue position papers, and many Christians ignore them and follow the lead of the rest of society. Surveys reveal little difference between church attenders and non-attenders in the rates of premarital intercourse and cohabitation. Surveys also show that many people have left their churches in disgust over hypocrisy about sex, especially when ministers fail to practice what they preach…..”
“….The attempt to reduce human sex to a merely animal act, however, runs into unexpected problems. The more we learn about human sexuality, the more it differs from how the animals do it. Most obviously, humans come vastly over-equipped for sex. The human male has the largest penis of any primate, and the female is the only mammal whose breasts develop before her first pregnancy. Virtually all other mammals have a specified time in which the female is receptive, or in heat, whereas the human female can be receptive anytime, not just once or twice a year. In addition, the human species is one of very few in which females experience orgasm, and humans continue to have sex long after their child-bearing years have passed. Why are we so oversexed?
Relationship is the key. Human beings experience sex as a personal encounter, not just a biological act. We are the only species that commonly copulates face-to-face, so that partners look at each other as they mate, and have full-body contact. Unlike other social animals, humans prefer privacy for the act. In many species, females openly advertise their receptivity with swollen, colorful genitals, and the male and female mate in full view of the group. Relationship is the key. Human beings experience sex as a personal encounter, not just a biological act. We are the only species that commonly copulates face-to-face, so that partners look at each other as they mate, and have full-body contact. Unlike other social animals, humans prefer privacy for the act. In many species, females openly advertise their receptivity with swollen, colorful genitals, and the male and female mate in full view of the group.”
“…..Confining sex to marriage does not guarantee that we will realize anything beyond physical gratification in our sex lives. It may, however, create an environment of safety, intimacy, and trust where the true meaning of sex, the sacramental meaning, may at times break through. Marriage provides the security we need to experience sex without restraint, apart from guilt, danger, or deceit. Teenagers worry that they will miss out on something if they heed the Bible's warnings against premarital sex. Actually, the warnings are there to keep them from missing out on something. Fidelity sets a boundary in which sex can run free.”
“…….Marriage strips away the illusions about sex pounded into us daily by the entertainment media. Few of us live with oversexed supermodels. We live instead with ordinary people, men and women who get bad breath, body odors, and unruly hair; who menstruate and experience occasional impotence; who have bad moods and embarrass us in public; who pay more attention to our children's needs than our own. We live with people who require compassion, tolerance, understanding, and an endless supply of forgiveness. So do our partners. Such is the ironical power of sex: It lures us into a relationship that offers to teach us what we need far more—sacrificial love.”
I have a greater understanding of what God wants for me. I understand his love for me and the desire to protect my spirit. Part of the reason for taking such a huge step back is to heal. I often joke that I am one bad relationship away from being bitter and jaded. I do not want that for myself. I am a hopeless romantic. I don’t ever want to give up on love. At some point I will enter a new relationship and I want to be mentally and emotionally ready. I want to be ready to trust someone with my heart.
Holy Sex
